The Life at UCSD

so much has happened the past weeks at ucsd.

harder classes
miles and miles away from home
no more good food
a different environment
knowing what your priorities are

and crazy thing

a new boyfriend.

crazy crazy... i don't even kno what to think. things have been happening in sacramento... with goodass friends and it sucks that they are fighting. I wish everyone would just forgive each other... buhh iono anymore. I can't say nething. I'm in SD

i can't wait to come up for thanksgiving tho... it'd be nice to see my family again :]

2 in a half more weeks (=

Getaway

This weekend will be my getaway with my family. I'm soo excited!! I'll be done with a hard week's of work, get paid...and do more work, but to have the weekend off with the family is just a blessing.

classes have worked out, but i'm hoping I'll get into the math class I want to, I can care less for the seminar, I can do that next quarter. I'm starting to get the college jitters and nerves, I hope I can blend in quickly Lol. I wanna be mahself and be noticed, but at the same time look like a true ucsd college student! lol

my roommates are still awesome! and a lot of people I know have started school already, GOOD LUCK TO THEM! I miss some of them terribly! And I hope I can see them soon! I've been sooo busy that I can't even meet up with my friends! Overall, life's been good.. getting my driver's license was a big step and knowing who i want to be friends with for a long time has become more obvious. i'm still in love with my first love but that's okay, I kno i can let go when the time comes...

breathless

Life's good for now :]

i picked my classes! and i'm happy!!!!

things worked out buhht ... i'm waitlisted for math?! lamee! i hope i get it.. i'm number 1 on the waitlist anyways haha.

i'm waitlisted for this awesome seminar on the weekend too! im soo sad! hopefully i get it so i can hike with my suitemate lillian.. who's such a darling! :]

i love my suitemates so far! they're great.

tina's awesome too! i hope i get along with my chinese girls moreee in the future! and.. be cool with other girls! yayayayay! haha

buhh yehh... yikes, tomorrow is the big deal! i hope i pass my driver's license test!!

bring me luck !

excited

Classes

picking classes for college is such a bitch!!!

i hate doing it and i hope it won't be difficult for me next quarter! I really hope I can change classes after enrollment! imma trust jeremiah and i'm gonna pick classes on mahh planner for now

. please God, make everything work for me!!
i don't wanna pay a bunch of loans!! =[

fed up

Surprise!

i'm alive-celine dion
today (technically yesterday) was a emotional day.

i felt tired, unhappy, happy, and sad all at once. i felt emo again, which was soo lame! i didn't want to be like that! esp. for the party i put forth with susanna and christina for chrissa.

it was a great surprise for chrissa... and her face was priceless.. i was so happy that she felt complete after she knew that i loved her and would never forget her birthday lol! and of course.. that the surprise party was not CANCELLED AT ALL! LOL.. it was great. i kno i hurt her and made her cry.. ruining things and all.. buhh i hoped that today helped her know how much we all care. it was hard not telling her the truth right from the beginning.. but it was all worth it.

oh and another surprise.. mahh aunt's having two baby boys by christmas. i can't wait :]

entitled to happiness

Cleaning

today was a clean up day.

woke up in the morning.. head still hurts buhh oh well.
i slept well.

i thought things thru. and now i just don't CARE! =]

i'm happy for some reason.. and i'm glad i am.

i made up with some friends.. and i'm happy i did, cuz i feel a whole lot better. i love them :]

ohh and.. yehh went to costco.. ate soo MUCH FREE FOOD! :D i bought yummy sausage.. we bought hella stuff for cora's bday party tomorrow and it cost about 200 dollars.. crazy yo! parties are soo EXPENSIVE! buhh yehh.. got home a few hours ago and cleaned while watching reruns of laguna beach.. next is abdc haha.

good day good day.

God Bless.

Falling

I'm falling deep into my insanity
i can keep on walking with that smile on my face
but just so you know it is not me anymore
i'm tired
i'm tired of people who don't think before they do shit
they can contemplate all they want, but it doesn't even matter
they still did something wrong.

i try to be that friend
but i don't want to anymore
cuz i'm tired of sacrificing myself
i'm weary
and i'm upset

i want to cry
i want to scream
i want to give up

i'm ready to just give up.

fuck everyone .
i'm not in the mood to listen anymore
idgaf

i'm sorry to those that actually do care about me
i love you no matter what
and i won't forget all the sacrifices you have done for me
and all the memories we shared.
buhh sometimes, it's just not enough

i feel like i'm that little girl again
wearing black as others around me dress in white.
i'm alone.. again.

no one can understand me right now...

i really just can't wait to leave sacramento
i hate it here.

Regret

all the actions i do

i hope i won't regret in the future.

cuz right now idgaf no more.


i'll do what i'll do in order to make mahself satisfied. and i'll do it without hurting others, just hurting mahself in the
process

that's just life.

Intensity

pissed.angry.sad.

three types of intense humanly emotions i feel right now is surging through my body in mayhem right now. iono how to feel and iono how to talk. iono how to do anything, i just want to scream! i want to let out all my frustrations on the two people that caused mahh irritation.. buhh i can't, cuz i love them too much.

what do i do at a time like this? usually, the answer is to drink and to do stupid things.. buhh i can't let mahself .. cuz the people who care about me will worry and i don't want to make them worry about me. so i won't do anything.

i'm insanely frustrated right now because humans are so fucked up. human emotions.. human reactions...and human feelings for one another are a bunch of bullshit sometimes. cuz in the end.. we lose each other. we expect too much from another.. that trust.. and that honesty. when you put that trust in someone.. they end up betraying you. and when someone gets fucked over by a close friend.. they are upset.. buhh then they end up doing something shitty to they're own close friend.. because the human mind IS RIDICULOUS!

fuck everything.

i'm a true hermit sometimes

friends have been asking me why i stay home all the time.. and honestly. i don't kno. sometimes i have the urge to just go out and have fun, but really, i just wanna stay home and lay in bed. i've been getting no sleep because i run early every morning.. and still sleep late at night (or early in the morning i should say), it's really bad for mahh health.. so now i've decided to take vitamins everyday! i bought it at target and have been trying to stay consistent, even though i still forget to take it after meals.

tony's friends have been asking me to go party with them recently saying i haven't been going out and having illegal and dangerous fun for a while.. truth be told, it's better for me to stay away from that kind of shit. i hate sneaking around.. so i told them that i just can't party anymore. it's not worth the shit that can happen.. and surprisingly...they understand :] it's pretty crazy since they are pretty persistent when it comes to partying with certain people.. and i'm proud to say i'm important! WOOT :D haha.. jk

and anyways.. life's just been dandy.. nothing to do.. i'm ready to pack tho for mahh trip to SD, mahh new home. i'm excited, scared, and nervous... and hey..already homesick. hopefully i do well.. i plan to study and i plan NOT to freakin think about boys sometimes.. cuz that's bad!! haha, adam says i can't do it.. buhh watch! i will! lol. soo yehh... things have been layed back.. buhh parents/fambam still keep nagging me about me not thinking about the future seriously.. well fuck it, i'm trying. it's all about process when you first start college, it ain't mahh fault i can't handle mahself yet. it gets really irritating.. and i've become irritated easily the last few days. oh well, life's life.

let's just say...

it's been a FML kinda week.

dell studio

the dell studio! i just got this baby yesterday and let me tell you, I am going nuts...cuz it's soo beautiful and fast. I don't wanna put any junk in this computer lol. I want to keep it clean and not download..so iono what i'm goin to do in college. I'm gonna go to a guy's dorm and make the guy download or do shit for me haha.

quirks that i don't like about the dell studio:
1. it is hella SENSITIVE! (just like tiffany warned me) ..i click one thing.. or do something accidently and something big happens.. sometimes when i'm online and i'm on this site.. firefox just shuts and i'm like.. NOO! i have to find it again.. pretty lame.
2. i should have gotten the backlight... buhh i might have more complaints if it was still there.
3. the cover gets dirty easily since the material is soo prone to have fingerprints get all over it. i see a lot of mahh fingerprints on it.. eww. gotta clean constantly!
4. not all games on facebook.. especially restaurant city plays well. it's weird. buhh i think it's because the computer is so sensitive.

that's about it.. i mostly love this computer. a lot of ppl who found out i got this computer said that it's gonna annoy me. and i'm sure it will eventually buhh tiffany said i'll get used to it. it is soo nice! and there is so much room! yay!!

ohh and i still have mahh other dell studio that was sent broken (hella LAME) soo i have to send it back.. apparently they sent the instructions on how to exchange the laptops.. buhh there weren't any in the box! hella lame, i even got a fone call with dell ppl saying that i have to send it back within 10 days.. it's like... give me MONEY to send it then DAMMIT! fuckin gay!

other than that.. the past couple of days have been just stupid. buhh i miss hanging out with the family. =D

intense

A "wild" goose chase :D

wow, what a day. it isn't just any ordinary day.. it was a crazy fuckin day. first... i ran with liem and had a pretty good workout.. wow running was soo hard for me! mahh ankle was hurting and i was soo lazy soo in the end.. i got tired easily.. and eventually started walking. liem was nice enough to stick with me and not go ahead with the rest of crosscountry, i felt bad. buhh what was crazy was the fact that a fucken goose showed up outta nowhere and started following us!!! we thought it was injured at first cuz it really didn't fly.. it just walked with us. I was scared shitless so i started running away and liem was just walking with it making sure it wouldn't get run over (aww LOL). buhh yehh. it was kinda alright for a while, until it started flapping it's wings and went straight for me! i started running across the street and it hella followed me! it was in the middle of the road for a while so people driving were beeping at it and moving closer so that it would move, buhh to no avail.. it just walked like it was the shit. xD

so everything was well.. until it started coming at me again!!! i ran around the corner.. and instead of turning.. it went straight towards my neighborhood on blackite.. i thought i was safe so i stopped panicking. liem said it flew off and i was like shit.. that goose ain't injured lol. we ran towards my house and when we got to the park near silverberry.. the goose was RIGHT THERE walking with someone else until it saw me. i looked at it and BOOM, it started running straight at me!!! I RAN for my life of course and sprinted about 300 meters or so.. dude.. i was scared haha. liem ran right after me and we both hella started laughing.. buhh dude, it wasn't funny lol. apparently everyone knows.. and more ppl will start finding out. hahaha. FB yo, checkk it lol.

okay.. so my friend and i planned a day together. we wanted to go to the library and stuff.. i also wanted to go to the animal shelter, but he gave me a text message saying that it wasn't convenient for him to go out with me right now, and i was so hurt. his words seemed so cold. and i asked what was wrong buhh he told me that he's going thru problems with his brother again.. and i was the issue.. (of course) since his siblings hated me for no apparent reason.. it's stupid. even tho i wanted to brush it off, i was so fed up with hella shit. i was fed up with everything. i was fed up with ppl who judged a book by it's cover .. i was fed up with people who was fake and acted nice when they aren't.. i was fed up with people who are influenced so damn easily.. i hate people who try to fix things by putting people together (that obviously hate each other) together when they kno they shouldn't. it's FUCKING ANNOYING. and i'm fucking annoyed again writing this.. i just wanna hermit and spend time with mahh other friends who are laid back. they drink, party, and do shit i love to do.. they are calm and collected.. and they don't judge people. they might be hardcore, buhh they are straight up and deal with shit right. they got mahh back.. and they get me. i miss them.

what a pity.. i wanted to start going out again.. buhh i guess i won't.. cuz it'll only make me go crazier. now i know why adrienne doesn't like big group gatherings.. cuz no matter what.. there will be confrontation. and this problem.. is only gonna get worse.

fed up with shit

twitter

i have it... go figure xD

get at me on it??

http://twitter.com/darkslover112

haha, iono how to use it that well.. someone help? x].. CK! xD

i'm happy that you care...

blowfish face.

i had surgery yesterday and dude.. it was hella funny, cuz when the doctor was tapping mah hand, i knew he was putting the sleeping potion (anesthetics) on me buhh after he put the shit in mahh body, i was still wide awake checking my heartbeat pulse on the monitor lol.. and iono next minute i kno i woke up during the last minutes of surgery all drowsy haha. that shit is STRONG! i passed out without even knowing it haha. buhh then i went home and i was soo dizzy and drowsy.. i felt drunk buhh not really. i lips, chin, and tongue were numb, so when i tried to take mahh pain killers and the vidocin, i didn't feel it in mahh mouth.. so naturally, i didn't swallow all of them and it fell out of mahh mouth. the numbing was lame. haha. then i got dizzy and had low blood pressure so i felt like throwing up, stupid vidocin lol. yehh.. not a great day. the swelling wasn't too bad...

chrissa and liem visited me.. liem bought me a card and a balloon.. soo CUTE, thanks, he made mahh day hella better :] chrissa gave me a pretty smile.. so that made my day as well.. althought they didn't really sympathize.. xP .. i didn't look deformed then haha.

i didn't sleep that well that night.. talked to takony off and on for a couple of hours.. and watched tv.. drank soup.. yehh it was lame.. i couldn't sleep cuz mahh cheeks were hurting more and gettin puffier, i was thinkin the soreness was just getting worse. it wasn't that great.

the nxt day, i was just an ugly half lookin blowfish lol.. only mah left cheek is big and swollen. the gums are inflammed, and it hurts to swallow. *complain complain, i know, i'm a pussy hahah.

i went to costco and saw kimber.. she tapped me on the back and said i looked like a chipmunk haha. see i knew it was noticeable! lol, buhh it was nice to talk to her since she had to go thru it.. she said the swelling lasted a week or so buhh she started eating solids anyways LOL.. that's what i'm gonna do, i'm hungry ! haha.

buhh now, i'm watching dramas.. and yehh.. just trying to ignore the pain. i can't wait for tomorrow! i think jerri and other surprised guests are gonna come visit me ;D

i hav to clean . ew.

bbye!

yikes..

surgery tomorrow.

shit.

addiction

i'm addicted to:

-2ne1's new album
-2pm's sexy bodies
&

restaurant city.


that's mahh life. i love it

Today is a f*ckin great day.

first of all. i won in volleyball when i joined a random team, so yay!? haha... and then.. life just got so much better when i got onto my uc san diego website. all the requirements are met for my transcripts so it's obvious i'm in UCSD for sure and then when i scrolled down to my ap test scores.. i didn't care about my 4's, i just cared about MY 3 IN AP CALCULUS!!!! WHAT SUCKKKA! i passed it.. even tho i got a C- in ap calc class haha.. dude.. MR YEE I LOVE YOU! haha.. and i did kinda bust my ass, not really. i didn't even study that much, i just relied on my logical skills.. it was a big surprise, but ap calc class and mr yee really made a difference. they helped me pass the test. i am so proud and happy. my grandma is too.. YAY! I LOVE MY LIFE!!!

today is a good day.

and i'm happy for all my friends who did well on the ap tests too. YOU GUYS DESERVE IT! <3

crazy yester-day

i played soccer. woot!! we won all 3 games we played and finally became the champions! haha screw liem! x] yay, now it's time to kick ass in soccer... hopefully i can do my best next week and WIN!

then... iono.. i got mad that takony and liem were ball hogging on the other side!! michael and ron ball hoggin was annoying too! i clearly "got it!" buhh no, they have to steal the ball i could have had lol. oh well, at least we won, time to kick ass "today" technically.. hopefully i can go =/

after soccer, i went to chrissa's house to have a movie night with jimmy nguyen and ck. too bad jimmy le couldn't go cuz he got in trouble with his mom. being grounded sucks! .. i'm half grounded, buhh go out newayz xD. i think mahh grandma is reaching her breaking point in sending me off somewhere lol. buhh yehh we watched dawn of the dead. and dude, i really did NOT wanna watch it, but i did and takony was so not there to protect me, buhh it wasn't scary... just Nasty. the zombies were ridiculous cannibals...eeek x] it makes me shiver thinking about it. and since chrissa and ck heard mahh "spirit" story, they were even more freaked out, hahaha! i love them x]

newho, i got home around 1:45am, and dude.. mahh grandma didn't even YELL AT ME! she was all "what's goin on? why you interrupting me when i'm watching mahh show" and i'm like.. WTF . buhh yeh, she'll give me the lecture tomorrow when i wanna go out to get carl's jr or play volleyball haha.. too bad she's gonna go out and shop, mabee i should go with her? buhh it's too late! i don't wanna wake up in 3 hours! oh well, i'll set up mahh alarm for 7:30am and see how i feel. i kinda wanna suck up to her xD

alright, gnite!

p.s JIMMY LE!! DON`T change! xD

yerster-day was hella kickass =]

my new addiction

lee seung gi
&

brilliant legacy. xD

i love how that makes me feel :]

new favorite song! ;D

Weightless by All Time Low

Manage me I'm a mess
Turn a page, I'm a book
Half unread

I wanna be laughed at
Laughed with, just because

I wanna feel weightless
And that should be enough

Well I'm stuck in this fucking rut
Waiting on a second hand pick me up
And I'm over, getting older

If I could just find the time
Then I would never let another day go by
I'm over, getting old

Maybe it's not my weekend
But it's gonna be my year
And I'm so sick of watching while the minutes pass as I go nowhere
And this is my reaction
To everything I fear
Cause I've been going crazy I don't want to waste another minute here

Make believe that I impress
That every word
By design
Turns a head

I wanna feel reckless
I wanna live it up, just because

I wanna feel weightless
Cause that would be enough

If I could just find the time
Then I would never let another day go by
I'm over, getting old

Maybe it's not my weekend
But it's gonna be my year
And I'm so sick of watching while the minutes pass as I go nowhere
And this is my reaction
To everything I fear
Cause I've been going crazy I don't want to waste another minute here

This could be all that I've waited for
(Waited, I've waited for)
And this could be everything
I don't wanna dream anymore

Maybe it's not my weekend
But it's gonnna be my year
And I've been going crazy
I'm stuck in here

Maybe it's not my weekend
But it's gonna be my year(it's gonna be my year)
And I'm so sick of watching while the minutes pass as I go nowhere(go nowhere)
And this is my reaction
To everything I fear(everything I fear)
Cause I've been going crazy I don't want to waste another minute here

my feelings of life
written in words...

Goodbye & Hello :D

goodbye sacramento
hello sandiego :]
goodbye to the old me
hello to the new

i'm ready to start fresh.
a new layout
a new blog title
i feel renewed.. i ain't the same because i'm finally ready.

i can't wait to

leave & start anew

all my love sactown kidsss.
it's mahh time to go [=

fuck everything

life's a bitch. i hate it

shits a bitch

guys suck. =]

i've made that notion and have come to stick to it. someone told me some interesting news today and iono how to react or feel about his words. I somewhat feel disappointed and pissed off, but the other part is wuhhever cuz i really don't care anymore. it's okay, there are many boys out there waiting for me xD. he's still chill and cool to kick it with.

Friends can be a pain in the ass

i love mahh girl, buhh part of me really wants to be straight up with her and tell it like it is. she's acting like a bitch and iono if i like it. she may have "changed" , buhh she ain't changin the right away.. again. i hate acting mean, i hate being an angry person, but i honestly can't help it. i really don't want to be cool with her right now. mabee one day, i'll have the courage to give her mahh obsolete irritation of her unidealistic nonsense. yes i just used big words.. big woop xD. other than that, everything is been cool. i'm tryin to be a hermit, buhh there's too many things going on in mahh life for that lol. and OMG.. transformers is coming out tomorrow!! i'm soo excited! =]

think before you say shit, or else your ass can get fucked up.

He's just not that into you.

so recently, i watched the movie "He's just not that into you". funniest movie ever. i really liked it :] i totally agree with what the message is saying about guys. it might be a lito too extreme for teenagers, but it is basically correct.


things i've learned:

"when a guy doesn't call you, he doesn't want to call you"

"when a guy takes your card number and says 'i'll call you' , he is not into you"

"when a guy doesn't call you for a week, move ON"

"when he wants to you, he'll do everything he can to have you.. (he can even turn gay for you)"

"don't fall for asshole guys who cheat"

"when a guy makes an excuse to not have sex with you, he's just not into you"


damn i say, i feel exhausted already lol. learning all these rules and exceptions was hella fun, but not very important to me. as i watch these character rant about their fucked up lives, i think.. that's how life is supposed to be. it's goin to be full of dissapointments and arguments, you just have to live it out and not give up. cuz really, everyone will find their soulmate..(even me) lol.

reading and watching this movie was very helpful for me, it gave me a better insight on life, and i really appreciate what it's taught me. too bad, the movie and book doesn't really pertain to us teenagers... boys and girls as teenagers and in their younger 20s don't think as "rational" as the guys in the movie says. guys our age want girls to go after them.. it's actually a turn on. so GIRLS, advice from me: don't sit back too much, you have to do some of the work as well...bcuz sometimes guys are just like us, waiting for a call..wondering if the girl is interested too. if the guy doesn't find out, he sometimes gives up since doin all the work can be a pain even for them. hey, i agree.. i've done the work sometimes, and it always works. xD

i've also been listening to mellow music lately.. less beats.. less stress.. just a calm nurturing tune. and i'm beginning to like it even more.

what a life. i'm happy cuz i don't care. and you know what? i live better that way neway. =]

boys can die.

today is a crappy day.

why?

because it just is.

i was having a conversation with tiffany about how boys are just a waste of our time. they come and go. sometimes they hurt you as they go. some boys are too chicken shit to make a relationship, makeup, or breakup. they're just weak. buhh at the same time, we girls are weak as well. we can't move on quick enough as we want to. our minds are strong, buhh our hearts keep holding on. i'm tired of being so weak.. i'm tired of being nice and patient. i want change in myself, but i can't get there. mabee it's just not the right time.. i don't know anymore.. and frankly i can't seem to care. as i kept talkin to tiffany about the rough shit i had to go thru the past 2 months.. i was kind of relieved.. that i could speak so openly.. that i was ready to move on. at that moment. i was ready to be strong.. and to just forgive and forget.

but God didn't want that...

he decided to test me.. because at that moment.. when i was about to move on with mah life foreal.. *he had to text me.. he had to bring me back to life. what a bitch. and now it's all coming down on mahh heart once again. that pain and heartache that i've been trying to forget. i dont' want to care about his text.. i want to ignore it.. buhh i can't. my heart can't.. and iono when it will. i wanted to call out to the guy i am seeing now.. i wanted to call him and wanted to make him help me forget.. buhh then i knew.. i would only be using him. and i couldn't do that. so i stood my ground and looked at myself in the mirror. what did i want? i finally decided that i didn't care. wuhhever happens happens. if we become friends again.. or enemies.. it didn't matter. i was moving to socal anyways. sacramento will soon be nothing to me. and i was glad for that. so let me do what i can to forget. buhh for now.. i just don't care. if he wants me to say "hi" .. i will. cuz i just don't care...he can laugh with his friends about how pathetic i am.. cuz really. he's nothing.

boys can just die..

It's Okay

so for the past two days, i've been thinking about how i'm goin to deal with friday's intervention with my friends. i realized that i really just didn't care anymore. if my friends start to give up on our seven plus one then let them, cuz i'm goin to keep my friendships with all seven of my closest friends till the end. we're gonna fight and bicker, buhh that's what close friends do, and it's okay.

I think our life is too short to be angry and stay upset.
But at the same time, it is too short to keep our mouth shut.
Anyone who wants to speak their mind on friday, speak your mind...it's okay
friday is all about yelling out your sorrows and tryin to settle everything...speak your truth.
it's okay

i love all my friends, and no matter what, i will stick by them. they might lose their love for each other, but i know that i will be by everyone's side till the end of time. I want it that way, and i'm going to keep it that way.

Welp, that's my epiphany, and it feels soo damn good. :D I know i'm gonna do my thing friday and sort out all the shit that's been goin in my mind. I'm going to get shit straight with my crazyass friend. If she cries or battles with herself, she just has to deal with it without me this time, because she needs to handle it herself. Let our tears and anger come to ends friday.

Cuz i know, everything is going to be okay.

more "drama"

wow!! it's been like forever since i posted shit up on this blog site haha. adrienne wants me to start blogging again so i think i will. 1 whole year man, since last summer. haha it's been one whole year since i blogged. the last blog i did was about me starting senior year. now i graduated and am about to embark on a new journey... as a college student. some crazy shit has happened since those days as an upcoming senior, some i can say, some i cannot say. one thing i can say is that i have grown a lot. i have become a better person because i went thru shit with friends, new boys, and family.. they all taught me something.. and i'm happy they did. i think i've grown as an adult.. a new 18 year old lol, so i am happy! =]

new boys:

oh boys boys boys. they piss me off so much haha. buhh they teach me lessons as well. i met this boy at yog yog one day with michelle. we then found out he was cousins with one our good friends. what a coincedence eh? lol. well to briefly put it.. he had a gf. i wanted to get at him neways. talked to him, used mahh good "gaming" skills .. and got a chance to get with him when he broke up with his gf. we talked.. he used me as a rebound obviously.. we kissed.. and then we went our separate ways. he went back to his gf.. and blocked me from everything (how immature, i still think) buhh i understand him nonetheless. i've done it before.. i guess karma will always come around. he really taught me not to get into certain messes. when a guy has a girl that he's been dating for seven years, there will always be some spark between them that i should never get in between. i've learned now, and i won't try to do it again lol. buhh i am known as the "boyfriend stealer" so i can't say anything. haha.. he really made me angry, sad, and aggravated the days we were together, close, and then apart... i guess it's God's way of teaching me a lesson. oh well... there are many guys around neways.. and i'm goin to san diego.. so who gives a shit about sactown boys.. who go to crc and works at jamba juice.. mann i miss that jamba juice, i can't go to the one next to target cuz i can't face him just yet. blahhh. nxt topic...

family:

family will always give you drama. period

friends:

ahhh, drama with friends.. it will always happen, but lately it has been getting out of hand with our group. the seven plus one. the 8 close friends of high school... we want to keep it that way, but it has been gettin more difficult since our name (the seven + 1) had been established.. is it a sign? iono..

buhh the first issue was kingston and his problems of not telling us much about his feelings and life. it sorta annoyed all of us.. and we cried over his words. he really made us upset.. he is our family.. our only close close guy friend. no matter what, we've always been there for him, more than his family has. and just him makin comments of us not lasting was pretty hurtful. and his gf.. well she is a sweet girl, but he was ready to give us our friendships for her.. (that's what we thought) so i thought it was messed up at the time, but then he eventually told me everything so i forgave him.. there really isn't any point in staying angry over assumptions made in-between the seven plus one.

the next.. the crazy girlfriend we all love and care about. her name will not be said just because.. iono, don't feel like sayin it lol. she has always been the flirty type, but lately it has been getting out of control. She used to tell me everything since she and i are so similar with our connections and attitudes towards boys, but now.. she really has gotten out of control . she is soo airheaded and narrowminded when it comes to guys. why can't she think before she acts ..like in school? i don't even know. she really hurt another friend in our group.. and that is fucked up. i get pissed off thinkin about it. i want shit to be settled now, but many of us don't wanna deal with more drama.. we just want them to settle the issue themselves. i want shit to be okay, but honestly, i just want to yell at her and tell her how angry i feel about her actions. i really think she needs a wake up call. oh well.. we'll see what happens at mahh grad party friday. hopefully, shit goes well.. and smoothly. i kno i can't handle another fight.. it ain't worth our friendship.

welp, that's about it. being a graduate is soo exciting! i can do more shit! haha.. blahh blahh!!! i'm sleepy. gnite!