my new addiction

lee seung gi
&

brilliant legacy. xD

i love how that makes me feel :]

new favorite song! ;D

Weightless by All Time Low

Manage me I'm a mess
Turn a page, I'm a book
Half unread

I wanna be laughed at
Laughed with, just because

I wanna feel weightless
And that should be enough

Well I'm stuck in this fucking rut
Waiting on a second hand pick me up
And I'm over, getting older

If I could just find the time
Then I would never let another day go by
I'm over, getting old

Maybe it's not my weekend
But it's gonna be my year
And I'm so sick of watching while the minutes pass as I go nowhere
And this is my reaction
To everything I fear
Cause I've been going crazy I don't want to waste another minute here

Make believe that I impress
That every word
By design
Turns a head

I wanna feel reckless
I wanna live it up, just because

I wanna feel weightless
Cause that would be enough

If I could just find the time
Then I would never let another day go by
I'm over, getting old

Maybe it's not my weekend
But it's gonna be my year
And I'm so sick of watching while the minutes pass as I go nowhere
And this is my reaction
To everything I fear
Cause I've been going crazy I don't want to waste another minute here

This could be all that I've waited for
(Waited, I've waited for)
And this could be everything
I don't wanna dream anymore

Maybe it's not my weekend
But it's gonnna be my year
And I've been going crazy
I'm stuck in here

Maybe it's not my weekend
But it's gonna be my year(it's gonna be my year)
And I'm so sick of watching while the minutes pass as I go nowhere(go nowhere)
And this is my reaction
To everything I fear(everything I fear)
Cause I've been going crazy I don't want to waste another minute here

my feelings of life
written in words...

Goodbye & Hello :D

goodbye sacramento
hello sandiego :]
goodbye to the old me
hello to the new

i'm ready to start fresh.
a new layout
a new blog title
i feel renewed.. i ain't the same because i'm finally ready.

i can't wait to

leave & start anew

all my love sactown kidsss.
it's mahh time to go [=

fuck everything

life's a bitch. i hate it

shits a bitch

guys suck. =]

i've made that notion and have come to stick to it. someone told me some interesting news today and iono how to react or feel about his words. I somewhat feel disappointed and pissed off, but the other part is wuhhever cuz i really don't care anymore. it's okay, there are many boys out there waiting for me xD. he's still chill and cool to kick it with.

Friends can be a pain in the ass

i love mahh girl, buhh part of me really wants to be straight up with her and tell it like it is. she's acting like a bitch and iono if i like it. she may have "changed" , buhh she ain't changin the right away.. again. i hate acting mean, i hate being an angry person, but i honestly can't help it. i really don't want to be cool with her right now. mabee one day, i'll have the courage to give her mahh obsolete irritation of her unidealistic nonsense. yes i just used big words.. big woop xD. other than that, everything is been cool. i'm tryin to be a hermit, buhh there's too many things going on in mahh life for that lol. and OMG.. transformers is coming out tomorrow!! i'm soo excited! =]

think before you say shit, or else your ass can get fucked up.

He's just not that into you.

so recently, i watched the movie "He's just not that into you". funniest movie ever. i really liked it :] i totally agree with what the message is saying about guys. it might be a lito too extreme for teenagers, but it is basically correct.


things i've learned:

"when a guy doesn't call you, he doesn't want to call you"

"when a guy takes your card number and says 'i'll call you' , he is not into you"

"when a guy doesn't call you for a week, move ON"

"when he wants to you, he'll do everything he can to have you.. (he can even turn gay for you)"

"don't fall for asshole guys who cheat"

"when a guy makes an excuse to not have sex with you, he's just not into you"


damn i say, i feel exhausted already lol. learning all these rules and exceptions was hella fun, but not very important to me. as i watch these character rant about their fucked up lives, i think.. that's how life is supposed to be. it's goin to be full of dissapointments and arguments, you just have to live it out and not give up. cuz really, everyone will find their soulmate..(even me) lol.

reading and watching this movie was very helpful for me, it gave me a better insight on life, and i really appreciate what it's taught me. too bad, the movie and book doesn't really pertain to us teenagers... boys and girls as teenagers and in their younger 20s don't think as "rational" as the guys in the movie says. guys our age want girls to go after them.. it's actually a turn on. so GIRLS, advice from me: don't sit back too much, you have to do some of the work as well...bcuz sometimes guys are just like us, waiting for a call..wondering if the girl is interested too. if the guy doesn't find out, he sometimes gives up since doin all the work can be a pain even for them. hey, i agree.. i've done the work sometimes, and it always works. xD

i've also been listening to mellow music lately.. less beats.. less stress.. just a calm nurturing tune. and i'm beginning to like it even more.

what a life. i'm happy cuz i don't care. and you know what? i live better that way neway. =]

boys can die.

today is a crappy day.

why?

because it just is.

i was having a conversation with tiffany about how boys are just a waste of our time. they come and go. sometimes they hurt you as they go. some boys are too chicken shit to make a relationship, makeup, or breakup. they're just weak. buhh at the same time, we girls are weak as well. we can't move on quick enough as we want to. our minds are strong, buhh our hearts keep holding on. i'm tired of being so weak.. i'm tired of being nice and patient. i want change in myself, but i can't get there. mabee it's just not the right time.. i don't know anymore.. and frankly i can't seem to care. as i kept talkin to tiffany about the rough shit i had to go thru the past 2 months.. i was kind of relieved.. that i could speak so openly.. that i was ready to move on. at that moment. i was ready to be strong.. and to just forgive and forget.

but God didn't want that...

he decided to test me.. because at that moment.. when i was about to move on with mah life foreal.. *he had to text me.. he had to bring me back to life. what a bitch. and now it's all coming down on mahh heart once again. that pain and heartache that i've been trying to forget. i dont' want to care about his text.. i want to ignore it.. buhh i can't. my heart can't.. and iono when it will. i wanted to call out to the guy i am seeing now.. i wanted to call him and wanted to make him help me forget.. buhh then i knew.. i would only be using him. and i couldn't do that. so i stood my ground and looked at myself in the mirror. what did i want? i finally decided that i didn't care. wuhhever happens happens. if we become friends again.. or enemies.. it didn't matter. i was moving to socal anyways. sacramento will soon be nothing to me. and i was glad for that. so let me do what i can to forget. buhh for now.. i just don't care. if he wants me to say "hi" .. i will. cuz i just don't care...he can laugh with his friends about how pathetic i am.. cuz really. he's nothing.

boys can just die..

It's Okay

so for the past two days, i've been thinking about how i'm goin to deal with friday's intervention with my friends. i realized that i really just didn't care anymore. if my friends start to give up on our seven plus one then let them, cuz i'm goin to keep my friendships with all seven of my closest friends till the end. we're gonna fight and bicker, buhh that's what close friends do, and it's okay.

I think our life is too short to be angry and stay upset.
But at the same time, it is too short to keep our mouth shut.
Anyone who wants to speak their mind on friday, speak your mind...it's okay
friday is all about yelling out your sorrows and tryin to settle everything...speak your truth.
it's okay

i love all my friends, and no matter what, i will stick by them. they might lose their love for each other, but i know that i will be by everyone's side till the end of time. I want it that way, and i'm going to keep it that way.

Welp, that's my epiphany, and it feels soo damn good. :D I know i'm gonna do my thing friday and sort out all the shit that's been goin in my mind. I'm going to get shit straight with my crazyass friend. If she cries or battles with herself, she just has to deal with it without me this time, because she needs to handle it herself. Let our tears and anger come to ends friday.

Cuz i know, everything is going to be okay.

more "drama"

wow!! it's been like forever since i posted shit up on this blog site haha. adrienne wants me to start blogging again so i think i will. 1 whole year man, since last summer. haha it's been one whole year since i blogged. the last blog i did was about me starting senior year. now i graduated and am about to embark on a new journey... as a college student. some crazy shit has happened since those days as an upcoming senior, some i can say, some i cannot say. one thing i can say is that i have grown a lot. i have become a better person because i went thru shit with friends, new boys, and family.. they all taught me something.. and i'm happy they did. i think i've grown as an adult.. a new 18 year old lol, so i am happy! =]

new boys:

oh boys boys boys. they piss me off so much haha. buhh they teach me lessons as well. i met this boy at yog yog one day with michelle. we then found out he was cousins with one our good friends. what a coincedence eh? lol. well to briefly put it.. he had a gf. i wanted to get at him neways. talked to him, used mahh good "gaming" skills .. and got a chance to get with him when he broke up with his gf. we talked.. he used me as a rebound obviously.. we kissed.. and then we went our separate ways. he went back to his gf.. and blocked me from everything (how immature, i still think) buhh i understand him nonetheless. i've done it before.. i guess karma will always come around. he really taught me not to get into certain messes. when a guy has a girl that he's been dating for seven years, there will always be some spark between them that i should never get in between. i've learned now, and i won't try to do it again lol. buhh i am known as the "boyfriend stealer" so i can't say anything. haha.. he really made me angry, sad, and aggravated the days we were together, close, and then apart... i guess it's God's way of teaching me a lesson. oh well... there are many guys around neways.. and i'm goin to san diego.. so who gives a shit about sactown boys.. who go to crc and works at jamba juice.. mann i miss that jamba juice, i can't go to the one next to target cuz i can't face him just yet. blahhh. nxt topic...

family:

family will always give you drama. period

friends:

ahhh, drama with friends.. it will always happen, but lately it has been getting out of hand with our group. the seven plus one. the 8 close friends of high school... we want to keep it that way, but it has been gettin more difficult since our name (the seven + 1) had been established.. is it a sign? iono..

buhh the first issue was kingston and his problems of not telling us much about his feelings and life. it sorta annoyed all of us.. and we cried over his words. he really made us upset.. he is our family.. our only close close guy friend. no matter what, we've always been there for him, more than his family has. and just him makin comments of us not lasting was pretty hurtful. and his gf.. well she is a sweet girl, but he was ready to give us our friendships for her.. (that's what we thought) so i thought it was messed up at the time, but then he eventually told me everything so i forgave him.. there really isn't any point in staying angry over assumptions made in-between the seven plus one.

the next.. the crazy girlfriend we all love and care about. her name will not be said just because.. iono, don't feel like sayin it lol. she has always been the flirty type, but lately it has been getting out of control. She used to tell me everything since she and i are so similar with our connections and attitudes towards boys, but now.. she really has gotten out of control . she is soo airheaded and narrowminded when it comes to guys. why can't she think before she acts ..like in school? i don't even know. she really hurt another friend in our group.. and that is fucked up. i get pissed off thinkin about it. i want shit to be settled now, but many of us don't wanna deal with more drama.. we just want them to settle the issue themselves. i want shit to be okay, but honestly, i just want to yell at her and tell her how angry i feel about her actions. i really think she needs a wake up call. oh well.. we'll see what happens at mahh grad party friday. hopefully, shit goes well.. and smoothly. i kno i can't handle another fight.. it ain't worth our friendship.

welp, that's about it. being a graduate is soo exciting! i can do more shit! haha.. blahh blahh!!! i'm sleepy. gnite!